Monday, 11 February 2008

When I don't pay attention in class... this happens

Today we had an introductory meeting into our special week of media convergence. We're learning how to put together things to be published on a webpage. (woo-hoo!) In order to take up two hours of our time this morning, the profs decided to submit us to a slow and painful death by letting an old prof (who doesn't even teach my courses) ramble on about his take on media convergence. All was received by our short attention spans was a 24 hour schedule of what news websites and podcasts the guy pays attention too. Wow. Riveting. Shall I come up front and go on about the podcasts I download? And tell everyone they should download the Anderson Cooper video podcast from iTunes/CNN because he is like, the best CNN reporter in years? (NO!)

While we were subjected to this cruel and unusual punishment, I took and opportunity to be silly and news-y by authoring a short sarcastic piece that was relevant to our torture. Enjoy.

Student goes into coma whilst in lecture

A 22-year-old University of Sheffield student fell into a coma caused by boredom after attending a lecture about media convergence week.

The postgraduate student in journalism, who is an international student from the US, came into class today fully awake and with a cup of Starbucks in her hand. Twenty minutes into the lecture, she passed out.

"She was fine five minutes ago!," said friend Sophia Saleh, 33. "Her family is going to be so upset..."

The student, whom her friends asked for her not to be named so as to not ruin her reputation and cause defamation, had no known sleeping illnesses. Nor was she on any medication that could cause a person to randomly fall into a coma.

"It's very strange. I've never seen anything like this happen before," said NHS paramedic Derek Sheppard.

She was taken to Royal Hallamshire Hospital where experts in several medical fields from across the country have flocked to her room to try and figure out what happened to the student.

Word is there is a competition worth money for the doctor who can figure out what happened to the student and how to revive her.

When a comment was seeked by the hospital on her status this afternoon we were told by a head nurse to "bugger off."

As far as we know, she is in stable condition and brain waves are active. This is based on information which a candy stripper leaked after we bribed them.

For now, the student will rest and miss class.

"I'm just jealous it wasn't me. I could use a long nap," said friend Johanna Zimmerman, 23.

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